Today has been a bad day. I am physically knackered but my Jill seems to be taking all this redundancy really, really hard bless her. I don't really have the energy to be supporting all of the time. My MS is lurking in the background and although it is affecting me now (tiredness, bad vision, fatigue, unsteady walking, no strenghth) I know damed well that once I have got a job and things settle down then, and only then will it jump up and kick me in the balls!
I know it is going to happen. I can not go through the stress that we are facing at the moment and expect all to be fine. It simply does not happen like that, I wish it did!
The problem I have and I have got Jill and Tom to think like this is that we enjoy having the best. Of-course that is a good thing and i wouldn't be any different but.......... for Jill she has got the constant worry we could lose it all, the house, the car etc. We aren't anywhere near that yet but it doesn't stop her from crying and getting really down. I need and indeed am strong for Jill but who supports me? The answer to that in reality is no-one! I don't have any family to turn to or indeed any really good friends. I do spend ALL of my time walking on egg shells around Jill and just trying my best to keep her happy and secure in the knowledge that we will be ok.
Take tonight for example, Jill has taken Tom to naval cadets btu at the end of a really shit day I thought I would spend £6 and but her a bunch of flowers to cheer her up..................Well we argued for an hour after giving them to her as she was so upset that I had spent £6!!!
It is true, and especially in my case, us men can not do right for doing wrong.
I havent heard from anyone who has or knows someone with multiple sclerosis as yet. Please let me help if i can. When I was diagnosed I was in the Navy with no family or girlfriend to help me through what was one of the darkest times in my life. So I know what people in those situations go through.

Later

Mike x